No, really I do. Most of the blogs I read kinda drive me crazy. Everyone seems to have the answer to all your problems and they all say something different. You should home school your children, don’t home school your children. If you are not eating everything organic most of your body parts will rot and fall off. Grass fed or die. Your child is 2 and still not potty trained?!! Your house is a mess because you are just not woman enough to get your act together. On and on it goes. The problem is that we do not all live in the same reality. Our lives are completely different. We all face very specific and tailor made challenges that require us to take a unique approach to how we live our lives. So, what then is a woman to do?
Get ready for some true confessions.
My house is a mess, so are my children for that matter. They are in public school and I’m happy about that fact. I love that my children are in school and that I have time in my day to focus on something else. Does that make me a bad mother? Do I love my children less than other women who want them home all the time? I cook what takes the least amount of money and time. My children eat bad snacks and, heaven forbid, sugar sometimes. I do not iron…anything. I adore my children, but I also adore bed time. I do not bathe my children every night. Most of the time there are dirty dishes in my sink and most nights I go to bed with them still in the sink because I’m too tired to wash them. I sometimes I feed my children cereal for dinner when their father is out-of-town.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone else? I could go on, but I think I’ve done a sufficient job of describing just how imperfect and human I truly am. It sounds wonderful on paper what some of these precious women are blogging about, but I struggle to find myself in what they are writing. It’s wonderful to have goals and to always try to improve yourself. Please don’t take this as an excise to not try harder. What I’m really trying to get across is the fact that if we were all honest, our lives are not as pretty as we make them appear on blogs, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest and I am here to say, that its OK!!
My husband and I have been on the mission field now for 12 years. We served for 10+ years in France and we have been in Quebec for a little over a year. I use to live with the lie that because I am a missionary, everything in my life had to be perfect. I was not allowed to struggle or fail or have doubts. Those things are not allowed in a missionary’s life, right? We are expected to have it all together! Our marriage should be perfect, our children little saints and our homes always pristine and ready for guests. Well, I hate to ruin your image of your favorite missionary, but, that type woman simply does not exist. Not even as a missionary.
One of the things I love most about my savior is that he loves me just as I am and lovingly improves me as I submit to His working in my life. That is not possible if I am spending all my time trying to set a scene for other people to see that is not at all the truth about who I really am. Yes, I am flawed, but I’m also kinda fun. I like to laugh. When you come to my house, it might not be clean and perfect, but you will be welcomed and loved while you are here. My children misbehave sometimes, but I promise they are being taught better. My husband and I don’t have a perfect relationship, but we are growing and learning together to form a marriage that is honoring to our Father.
If I hate blogs, why start one? Good question. As I was thinking about how much I was not getting from most blogs I decided to stop whining about it and create a solution. The goal of this is first of all for me to have a creative outlet to share what is on my heart and what the Lord is teaching me. Secondly, and most importantly, I pray that the Lord will use it to minister to other ladies out there just like me. So whether you are a full-time missionary on a foreign field or a full-time missionary at home, don’t be afraid to be transparent. We all have spots and wrinkles. Our hair is not always perfect and sometimes its all we can do to make it through the day. More than that, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are adored by your father and are becoming something beautiful in the Master’s hands. You are precious.